how much time do I really have?

I do not have much time, perhaps not even that much, to get my spirit believing, believing deeper down believing, in the existence of the Holy Spirit of Existence. Time has fooled me and it is fooling us both even as I think it. There is not much time left. If I can say, with our eternal God there is no time, then time may be an illusion, time, since it only exists in a comparative state. It is seemingly is experienced in the present, reflected in the past, and hope or feared in the future. But what is it? The laws of physics, the so called immutable laws of physics, cannot help me there. From this point on I need faith.